25.000 ---> Taxi.4.2007.R5DVD.XviD.AC3.iNT-HOHO.CD2.avi <---
Cultural attaché at the Belgian embassy since 1996.
Since the 17th of May 1996 to be exact.
My nomination was also shown in the evening TV news.
Is there a number to call?
Yeah, there's the number.
Go ahead, call.
Call them.
Belgian Embassy, hello. How may I help you?
Hello. I'd like to talk to Mr. Triboulet.
Unfortunately Mr. Triboulet has been absent for 3 days.
Do you know where I can find him? It's an important matter.
To be honest,
we haven't heard from Mr. Triboulet in 3 days.
and the embassy is starting to worry.
Are you saying he's disappeared?
Something like that.
We know he went to the station in Bruges Tuesday morning,
to report the carjacking of his Toyota.
And since then we have no news of him.
Are you his father?
No.
That's terrible.
I'll call again later.
Holy cow...
Will you talk?
Go easy on him.
Don't worry. I have an eye on them.
And you try not to burn down the station.
Can you borrow me some clothes? We have a problem with the prisoner.
Yeah, look in the closet.
The boss has a few shirts to change clothes.
You're right.
He can change clothes every 10 minutes.
My little Daniel.
You've come at the right time.
Is there a problem?
No, but it would be nice if you could sign an armistice.
Leo, look over here.
Awesome.
I prefer to die in glory than to surrender in infamy.
What is that?
Peace. The war's over.
Are you OK, Mr. General?
I'm fine.
I lost the battle but not the war.
If you don't mind the next battle will be some other time.
I'd like the kids to do their homework.
Yes. Of course.
Let's do it this Sunday.
This Sunday. That's right.
The day of Our Father.
It'll make Him happy.
Yes.
And we'll eat an apple pie.
Very good. I'll take care of that.
Go to the car.
You were supposed to be good for 2 hours, and not destroy his living room.
He started it. We wanted to play checkers.
But he said that checkers are a game for faggots.
Checkers are a game for faggots? He said that?
And do you know what a "faggot" is?
A "faggot" is a flyswatter.
My dad says there are plenty of faggots at the office.
I don't know what these flies ate this summer but they're huge.
Your boss must be really well-built.
These clothes are a little too big but you look good in them.
This isn't exactly my style but I won't be picky.
Better this than that diving suit.
That's for sure.
This one is huge.
Are you nuts?
Sorry, man.
But there was a giant fly right here.
Giant flies and worms. I know what you're saying.
I have something to make it go away.
I assure you... Where did it go?
How many of these flyswatters do you have?
No, it's not at all like that.
I'll explain.
Our boss loves fly fishing.
And his birthday is coming up,
so we're collecting some flies for him.
It'll be a surprise.
Excuse me.
OK...
Give you a ride?
No, thank you. I'll take a cab.
Bye.
And once again I'm sorry.
Daniel.
Is Emilien off duty?
He has an hour left.
Tell him I'm with the kids. I'll get the pizzas and we'll meet at my place.
Alright. I'll tell him.
- Bye. - Thanks.
You've arrived at the right time. I was looking for a means of transport.
Where should I drive you, sir?
Number 4, Mediterranean Square.
Nice address.
And may I ask for a favor?
Which is?
I know that French Riviera inhabitants live at their own pace,
because of the sun, which induces them to take siestas.
But the sun has set and the heat has subsided so I won't play the tourist.
So could you step on it,
so that I may arrive at my destination as soon as possible?
The port of Marseille,
for Marseille.
Right?
You better buckle up instead of being a wise guy.
What?
- Disgusting. - What a stench.
I deserved it.
Have a nice stay in Marseille.
Bye.
Delta 1, the sardine has arrived.
Your turn, Delta 3.
Roger that. We're on our way.
We're starting.
This is better than those clothes that smelled like sardines.
Did you get all the things I asked for?
Everything's ready.
What about the specialist?
It's not easy to find someone competent in this town.
So I had to...
Serge, I'm not asking how brilliant you were,
but whether you found a specialist.
The best of the best.
Then get me a meeting with him, if you don't mind.
Of course.
I asked him to pay you a visit.
That must be him.
Do we kiss or shake hands?
Given the choice, I'll pick the kiss.
In Belgium it's 3.
It's an honor to work for you.
- What do you know about my work? - Work. What a vulgar word.
I prefer to speak of your masterpiece.
She's good.
OK.
When do we start?
Not so fast.
I'm a softy for compliments,
but before we begin, I have to test you.
A sort of ritual.
I'll close my eyes.
I'll hold you close.
And you'll try, I repeat, you'll try to steal something
without me noticing.
You have 1 minute. Starting now.
I set it to the right time.
It was running a minute late.
She's really very good.
Where did you recruit her?
It's no use.
We've tried the books but he's not interested in any of them.
OK...
I see only one solution.
- He's here. - Where's the bear?
His nose is warm.
He's not a bear, he's a commissionaire.
He shot himself with a sleeping dart. We need to wake him.
That's what I thought because I've never seen such a species.
I'll apply the antidote.
This dose is for an elephant,
but it works the same way in case of a bear.
Do you know what you're doing?
Yes.
The most important is to aim properly,
above the trunk and between the eyes.
- Emilien! - I'm here, boss.
Are you OK? What's wrong?
That's a normal reaction.
He should lie some time in his basket.
I dozed off for 5 minutes.
What time is it?
12:05?
That's why I'm so hungry.
I'd eat an ox.
Shall I order a pizza, boss?
I won't refuse, my little Alan.
I'm on it.
Emilien, I had an absurd dream and you were in it.
Really?
Yes, that Belgian had tricked you
and you let him get away.
It was one of those dreams.
Emilien?
Daniel...
You'll never believe what happened.
You got fired?
How'd you know?
You get fired once a month. It's easy to remember.
But this time it's for real, Daniel.
Do you remember that public enemy no. 1?
We were supposed to keep an eye on him during his stay.
- I let him get away. - No?
I did.
He got away and I didn't stop him.
I'm such an idiot.
That was quite a stupidity.
It's not just one stupidity, it's a whole bunch.
I keep stacking them one on top of the other.
I've made so many of them, I can write the dictionary of stupidity.
Don't rub it in.
You had your successes.
The Santa Clause gang?
That Chinese woman?
Those were lucky shots.
I'm a good-for-nothing, Daniel.
Gibert did the right thing by taking away my badge. I don't deserve it.
Don't worry. You're not the only one.
Besides, I picked this profession to make my dad happy.
He asked me on his death bed. How could I refuse?
That's not easy.
But you tried your best and that's what counts.
Yeah, you're right.
Time to start a new chapter and do something else.
Something that I care about.
Now that's positive attitude.
Apart from stupidities, what would you like to do?
That's problem. I've become attached to this profession.
It's one of the most beautiful professions.
In that case, you're really in a dead end.
If only I could find the Belgian, Gibert would give me back my badge.
What Belgian?
The prisoner was a Belgian.
With a big face, dressed as a fisherman?
Yeah.
That's exactly him.
Did you see him?
He got in my cab in front of the station.
That was him.
He didn't want a lift, preferring a cab.
That was a truly spectacular escape. Was there also a goodbye fanfare?
Stop it, Daniel. Do you remember where you drove him?
Of course I remember.
You're a genius, Daniel.
Emilien?
What?
And what about the kids?
Crap. The kids.
Do you have an idea?
My little Daniel.
Is it already Sunday?
Yes, it's Sunday.
I'll leave the kids and go get the apple pie.
Very good.
I'll fire up the oven.
Are you sure this is it?
Yes, no. 4.
We have to make sure they're still here.
They're still here.
How do you know? The lights are out.
The lights are out because they're sleeping like everyone else,
except morons.
And the car is parked up front.
You'd make a good cop, you know?
Was that a compliment?
Yes.
Don't tell me it never attracted you.
As a kid, you never played cops and robbers?
I did. But I was always part of the other team.
Always.
So if you want my help tomorrow, I need to get some sleep.
- Is that possible? - Go ahead. Sleep.
I'll keep an eye on them.
Emilien!
I'm sorry. I dozed off.
We have coffee, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, cake.
And yogurt.
You had all this in the car?
I went out to buy it.
What?
So the house wasn't being watched?
I was supposed to sleep, and you were supposed to watch the house.
But you snore so loud that I can't sleep.
So maybe they ran off.
They didn't run off. Look.
The car is parked in the same spot.
Two guys drove up in a second car an hour ago.
Yeah? Why didn't you wake me up?
When you're asleep that's when I get some rest.
In spite of the snoring.
Daniel...
They're leaving.
There's your Belgian.
It's not him.
He didn't have a mustache and he was younger.
Emilien, he disguised himself.
Look. That mustache is falling off.
Yes...
Why would he dress up as an old man when going out?
Maybe because the police is looking for him.
Oh yeah, of course.
But I've seen that girl somewhere before.
I've never seen her.
Where are they going?
Guess.
MONACO
Monaco, of course.
One bank per square inch. This is paradise for him.
It's called a fiscal paradise.
Yeah, tell me about it.
There are plenty of boxes here we'd like to open.
It would help us in many cases.
Should I ask the Belgian to open a few? He owes you that for your help.
Stop your nonsense.
There we go.
He's chosen a bank.
BELGIAN ROYAL BANK
Belgian Royal Bank.
Most likely he's homesick.
Will they rob the bank?
They didn't go to play boules.
I'm calling Gibert.
Don't you want to wait until you have some proof?
Don't worry. We'll find the proof later.
Hello, sir? Emilien speaking.
I have the Belgian. I mean I've located him.
I know I'm not a cop anymore.
I was taking a walk and I saw him walk into a bank with his gang.
They didn't go there to play boules.
It's the Belgian Royal Bank in Monaco.
Yeah, it's far.
OK, I'll try to slow them down.
They're coming.
Great.
We've located the Daltons, and they're sending Rantanplan.
Hello. How may I help you?
Yes, I've come to see my son, Edward.
Edward Triboulet? You're his father?
Yes.
My pleasure. He'll be happy to see you.
This way please. Second floor, room 115.
Thank you, young man.
This way.
You're kind, Etienne.
Come in.
Dad?
- Dad has been dead for 4 years, moron. - Oh, right.
He wouldn't be proud you changed your name.
You didn't like it, did you?
Fénimore...
You're not in prison?
Not this week.
I treat prison like a country house.
I go there to relax.
Bring your head closer.
What a stupid hairstyle.
Can't you get another hairstyle?
Girls don't like hair combed like that.
They like hair combed like mine.
I assume you're still single.
Yes.
Delta 1, we're in position.
Roger that, Delta 2.
That girl is going to join them.
I've seen her before.
I'm sure of that.
I'm entering the bank.
Roger that, Delta 2.
We have you on visual.
Things are heating up.
Maybe I'll go there and have a discreet look.
No.
You don't know what discreet is.
We stay in the car and wait for Rantanplan.
Madame?
I have an appointment with Mr. Triboulet to open an account.
I'll call him, madam.
Go ahead. What are you waiting for?
Hello?
A client.
Take care of her.
Don't let my presence inconvenience you.
Yes, I'm coming.
Right away.
Go and give me the keys to the safe.
I'll take your place.
I only have the keys to the empty boxes.
I only open accounts.
Good, because so do I.
I'm sorry for the delay, countess.
Please, this way.
- Open it. - Yes sir, Mr. Triboulet.
If you don't mind the step, countess.
And we're done.
Your turn, countess.
Do you have a favorite place when opening an account?
That wall there.
On that wall we have number 82. Alright?
Perfect.
And? Catch anything?
I'm looking for the alarm system cables.
If I don't turn it off,
the alarm will go off when we open a safety box.
She's really very good.
That's for sure.
Bring us something to eat. I haven't eaten since last night.
I'll bring us something, boss.
FRIES
What's Gibert doing?
It doesn't take an hour to get to Monaco.
- I've taught you some bad habits. - That's true.
And what are they doing?
It doesn't take an hour to open a box.
Maybe they're opening more than one.
This is a list of those we want to open.
This will take some time. Have a coffee.
A coffee?
The "La Libre Belgique" newspaper.
Now this is class.
In Her Majesty's service.
I've opened the first box.
Roger, Delta 2. Carry on.
What?
A guy in a suit and dark glasses
gets in a van at 9 in the morning.
Do you think that's normal?
Maybe he got back from work and is changing clothes before going out.
And he bought fries, even though he sells them.
Maybe those he bought are better than his own.
You have an answer for everything.
And that's why I'm a cop.
I have only 5 boxes left.
Alright Delta 2, wait a moment.
Number 107. I repeat: number 107. 1-0-7.
Roger.
A black diary. Is that it?
Confirmed.
- You scared me. - I'm sorry.
- How's it going? - Only 5 left.
- Hurry up. - Of course.
It's me. How's it going?
I'm doing what I can, but...
He has a smaller head than yours, so the wig keeps falling off.
Stop fooling around and get out of there!
Moron.
Enough of this. Put on the mustache and let's go.
Or else he'll yell at me again.
What are they doing? Have they stopped for breakfast?
That wouldn't surprise me.
Look. There.
I told you, he'll get away.
- Yes, hello? - Gibert here.
Boss, he's leaving the bank disguised as an old man.
Where are you?
The driver left to ask for directions,
but it's not easy, because the inhabitants
run away when they see a police officer.
And the GPS is broken again.
It's displaying the wrong town.
Where do I go now?
You go to the beach.
Once you get there, you walk into the sea and swim ahead.
- Alright. - Now get lost.
He left and is going to get away. He's at the end of the street.
It's there around that corner.
Emilien, how was that old man dressed?
What do we do?
Nothing. We don't care. It's not him.
I'm not myself! I'm not myself!
Sure. And I'm not myself either.
Load him up.
You're making a mistake. I'm not myself.
Emilien?
Yes, boss?
We'll meet at the office. I have a police badge for you.
Thank you, boss.
Did you hear that?
Wonderful! And thanks to you, Daniel.
How will I ever thank you?
Emilien, something's fishy.
He simply feels guilty.
He knows I'm a good cop and doesn't want to lose me.
I'm not talking about that, but about the Belgian.
They drove up in 2 cars and 6 people went in with bags.
Now 2 of them came out with no bags and left on foot.
Can you explain that?
No.
That's not easy.
And did you notice the old man wasn't limping the same way?
I did notice that.
I thought he must have fallen down the stairs.
Old people often fall down the stairs.
And I think it's not the same person.
Really?
If that wasn't the Belgian then where is he?
There.
Holy cow...
I'll take a different route. That'll be more discreet.
We'll meet at the house.
No way.
We rob together and get caught together.
Besides, you won't leave me. I'm rich and single.
I'd regret it.
Dammit. He didn't let her leave.
What now? Do we follow them?
With this piece of junk?
What are you waiting for? Follow them.
I'll let them get away. It's more fun this way.
This isn't the time for games. Go.
Why are they going so slowly?
It's nice to drive slowly for once. We can enjoy the scenery.
Driving this slowly they'll suspect us.
A taxi cab is less suspicious than a piece of junk with fries.
What are they up to?
In Monaco they prefer caviar over fries.
When they saw a car with Belgian plates, they followed their client.
I assure you, this isn't the time for jokes.
I remind you that I'm up to my neck in trouble.
You got your badge back. That's what matters.
Really?
You think Gibert will give me my badge, when he learns he has the wrong guy?
My name is Edward Triboulet and I work for the Belgian Royal Bank.
And I'm Hercule Poirot.
Alan, which book is it now?
- Number 77, boss. - 77...
The Seine-et-Marne department.
A very nice department.
You'll see.
It's worth a visit, isn't it?
Let's try this again.
First and last name!
My name is Edward. Edward Triboulet.
This is leading nowhere, boss. And we have few books left.
Don't worry about that. We have the 22-part encyclopedia.
But...
Since he's Belgian I thought
we could use a different method.
Do you know what I mean?
Good thinking, my little Alan.
Everyone get out.
Please!
Don't leave me!
Please, don't leave me!
Stay!
- So you're Belgian? - Yes, I'm from Brussels.
Jacques Brel was also Belgian?
Yes, he was a great man and a hero.
Let's listen to the hero.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Wonderful.
Is this better?
Not that.
No. Mercy.
No! Stop it!
- Not that... - First and last name!
Help! Save me!
- Damn. He's giving it to him. - The boss is good at that.
Crap.
We lost those guys with the fries.
We're not going to the house?
I have greater ambitions than that pitiful house.
Call the Columbian.
Are you out of prison?
Yes, I'm calling to tell you
that thanks to what I'm holding, you'll take my place.
I'm listening.
BRB. Belgian Royal Bank. Ring a bell?
Yes.
The things that were in your box are not there anymore.
Hello?
Did you drown in your pretty pool?
What do you want?
Not much.
You have 10 minutes to get in your yacht and sail to your shitty country.
And we're done.
I got us an estate, my dear. Tell me what you think.
This is what I love.
I came here a year ago, for talks with the Columbian.
And I fell madly in love with this place.
But that bastard wouldn't sell it to me.
Come, my dear. I'll take you to paradise.
Look at this. Isn't this beautiful?
Follow me.
Isn't this paradise?
This stuff is first class.
It's not the flour they sell on the streets of the capital.
You turned me on in the bank,
while opening those boxes.
Eugene...
Don't you think we should slow down?
We have no time to lose.
We have to hurry, ever faster.
We might be dead in an hour.
We have to make use of each moment.
- You're right, Eugene. - Call me Fénimore.
Fénimore, allow me to change clothes, to look more beautiful.
That's a good idea.
I'll change too.
And we'll eat a candlelight dinner on the patio overlooking the sea.
Excellent.
See you soon,
Fénimore.
Delta 1, you need to come get me, things are heating up here.
When will you be here?
Hold on, Delta 2.
Excuse me, sir. How long will the repair take?
Young man... 2 or 3 days.
Delta 2...
I'm sending reinforcements.
Emilien, what are you doing?
I'm calling reinforcements.
My little Emilien. The Belgian admitted everything.
Everything?
Everything. We couldn't stop him.
And since he became so willing,
we attributed him a few other cases.
He'll get a 1000 years of prison and won't notice the difference.
Boss, that's not the right Belgian.
What do you mean?
That's his double, a look-alike.
The real Belgian left the bank 5 minutes later.
So where's the real Belgian?
I've followed him to the Columbian's villa in Cannes.
The Belgian and the Columbian together.
Can you imagine such a catch?
General alarm!
You look sublime, my dear.
Thank you.
And you look great in white.
You think so?
I like white.
I like white...
But I prefer champagne.
- Did you hear those shots? - I heard only one.
Trust me. One shot is usually followed by others.
What are you doing?
I'll take up a forward position and prepare the terrain for Gibert.
You'd be better off guarding the rear.
Don't worry. I'll inspect the topography of the terrain.
So that special forces can penetrate easily.
Here. Put this in your ear.
You'll be able to monitor me from afar.
I have a bad feeling about this.
To us.
There's a high fence.
I'm climbing up a post.
There's a tree branch that reaches into the estate.
That's strange. Such branches are usually sawed.
But this one isn't.
Actually...
It is.
That was a topography class presented by Emilien.
Let's dance.
Do you realize what a couple we'll make?
Fire and ice.
My Machiavellism and your professionalism.
We'll be the most feared couple of modern times.
I'll be your Clyde and you'll be my Bonnie.
Shall we dance or kiss?
We can do both.
Otherwise I'll come to believe you're a double agent.
Haven't you learned to knock when entering?
I'm sorry, boss.
But look what fell out of the sky.
Well, well. It's the little cop from Marseille.
That little cop is an inspector.
I won't let you get away with this.
Hands in the air! You're under arrest!
You know, you're really stupid.
Barging in here with your little gun
and believing you can arrest the public enemy no. 1.
The killer of the Flanders. The monster of Belgium.
I warn you. The house is surrounded.
Really?
Right.
Reinforcements.
An armada.
I can hear the helicopters circling the house.
- They'll be here any moment. - Very good.
We'll be waiting for them.
I'll show you what we'll welcome them with.
But first you'll pay for disturbing my peace!
Leave him to me.
I've always dreamed of killing a cop.
And I was off to a good start.
Fine.
This will be my engagement gift for you, my rose.
No other gift will make me happier.
Miss, please listen to me...
- Mrs. - Mrs., if you prefer.
I've never hit a woman and I practiced judo for 8 years.
That was a Japanese hold.
Since you insist, I'll take this seriously.
OK. But open your eyes.
Don't worry about me.
But I am worried about you.
Do we know each other?
Think harder.
I don't know that hold, but that must have hurt.
Reinforcements better come quick or there won't be much left of him.
Do you like my girlfriend?
She's not my type.
And would you like me more if I were a blonde?
Petra?
I was sure that I know her.
It took you awhile.
Finally.
Gibert and his orchestra.
Boss, should I check if the front gate isn't open?
You might as well use the door bell.
The success of an operation hinges on the element of surprise.
And thanks to this catapult system we will jump over the fence!
That was the Swedish corkscrew.
Go on.
Show him.
Break his neck.
Finish him.
I have a knife on my right thigh.
- Take me as a hostage. - What?
Turn around and take me.
In front of everyone?
Take me as a hostage, you idiot.
He's holding a knife on my throat.
Where did he get the knife?
I did a whole body search and found nothing.
If you move, I'll slit her throat.
Nobody move.
Don't worry, dear. I'll deal with this.
Stay calm.
And you, little cop...
Tell me what you want, and you'll have it.
Boss, are you sure this is safe without a warm-up?
I'm warm as the breeze, Alan.
I took part in a trampoline competition back in 71.
Exactly. 71 was a long time ago.
Jumping on a trampoline is like riding a bike.
You never forget it. Send the first group.
Betrayed by technology...
Alan, go to the truck and find the problem.
I'm on it, boss.
What's your number, boss?
I have no idea. I'm in last place.
Probably a burned-out fuse. Find it.
With his weight, I'm not surprised it doesn't work.
OVERLOAD
I found the problem, boss.
We have company.
What do we do, boss?
We wage war!
You want to play?
You want to catch me?
Then come and get me!
I'm glad I stayed in my cab.
I'm the no. 1 here, do you hear me?
And not only of Belgium, but of the whole world!
And some French cops are not going to scare me!
Let's go!
Come on! I'll show you!
Do you know what this Frenchie says?
He says you're making him mad!
And this little Frenchie...
is going to kick your ass.
It won't take long.
Daniel, help us.
I'm not surprised he remembers me.
And who's no. 1 now?
This weapon is dangerous. I'll go get something bigger.
- Is he nuts? - What's he doing?
Guys, look what I found.
I saw one of these in a movie.
Ignition.
This guy should be locked away.
I'll clean up this house. It won't take long.
Help...
It looks better in yellow.
My love...
When I think that I didn't recognize you
and that I almost hit you.
Don't worry. I would have defended myself.
Where should I drop you off, before matters get hot?
Listen, buddy.
I won't congratulate you for that handling.
Neither will I.
And I'm not the only one.
Excuse me, who among you is the group leader?
Excuse me.
Right.
May I ask what your rank is?
Commandant.
That's it?
Judging by your look, I thought you were a General.
Surely someone doesn't like you and is putting a spanner in the works.
I can take care of that.
I know a few influential people.
I buy weapons for them, so they owe me a favor, Commandant.
Why not.
Shall we discuss this in the car?
My pleasure, Commandant.
Load him up!
What are you doing?
Let go of me!
You're making a mistake! Do you know who I am?
Let go of me! You're making a mistake!
Young man, your behavior is an example for others.
Thank you, sir.
But Emilien deserves the merit. I only drove the taxi cab.
Besides, the meter has been running since yesterday.
There's something I don't get.
You knew he was going to rob that bank?
Yes.
There are hundreds of safety boxes we can't legally open.
So we gave the Belgian the green light and he opened them for us.
He'll get 200 years of prison and won't notice the difference.
Exactly.
How did you know he would escape?
By transferring him to you, we were 90% sure he'd escape.
Really?
So I had my part in the success of this operation?
Yes. You were perfect.
Any news about Gibert?
Even a whole box of sleeping pills hasn't slowed him down.
We'll show them! Forward!
Win the match!
The Commissionaire is full of energy.
We've tried everything to get him to tire.
We signed him up for the New York marathon, but even that didn't help.
Shoot! Go on!
What's he doing? Is this how he plays?
Shoot!
You're not here to pretend you're playing.
I'll show you how to play.
Is this hard to do?
Look.
Look at this ball handling.